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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

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A widely heated debate regarding whether the merits of adding
chemicals
Use synonyms
 to
food
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 outweigh the demerits has received accumulating attention from the public. As for my perspective, I am opposed to the statement, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. An array of factors might lead to why the chemical substance seems beneficial to
food
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. First of all, some raw materials get rotted within a short period;
as a result
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, the cuisine that people can enjoy will be far less diverse without the use of
chemicals
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.
For example
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, thanks to artificial
chemicals
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 added to the tomatoes and lettuce from the United States, McDonald’s is able to supply delicious meals in Taiwan.
Secondly
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, consumers can buy groceries at a lower price, as
chemicals
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 are typically much cheaper than natural ingredients.
In addition
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, manufacturers no longer face challenges in seasonal variation of natural materials, so they can produce their products more efficiently.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion, the damage caused by
chemicals
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 in
food
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 overtakes the advantages.
To begin
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 with, individuals will suffer from chronic diseases if excessive amounts of
chemicals
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 are accumulated in their bodies.
For instance
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, drinking a bottle of soda every day brings about higher risks of diabetes in early life because of the compound sugar mixed in it.
Furthermore
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, during the process of manufacturing
food
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, factories tend to release toxic substances into the environment, killing many species that live in nature. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, the shortcomings of adding
chemicals
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 to
food
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 outweigh the benefits
due to
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 the negative effects on humans and the damage to our Earth.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a more balanced exploration of both merits and demerits before stating your stance. This will enhance your task response and show a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Task Achievement
Try to strengthen the examples provided to make them more specific and relevant to your argument. For instance, you could include statistics or studies related to health impacts of chemicals in food.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your paragraphs, ensure each main idea is clearly connected to your thesis. Using clear topic sentences can enhance the logical structure of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context and presents your position clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument and reiterates your position on the issue.
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