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Band 6

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give ur opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #experiences #skill #ur
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Some say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the ideal way to acquire a better career is to finish tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 while others argue that, having experiences and soft skills is most important.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall endorse the former statement but the two divergent views shall
be outline
Change the verb form
be outlined
show examples
 after which a meaningful conclusion shall be drawn. On
one
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 hand, attainment of
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 position is
one
Use synonyms
 of the enormous benefits finishing tertiary institution bestow on individuals.
This
Linking Words
 is because, to be employed
into
Change preposition
in
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 some institution and rise to a particular level, there is the need to have a tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 certificate
hence
Linking Words
 people strive to finish the course.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, improved knowledge contributes to securing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better work.
One
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not remain the same after tertiary
education
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. The knowledge that has been added on sets the person aside for certain works which can solely be done by the person with that qualifications.
For example
Linking Words
,a recent survey conducted by the Ministry of employment has revealed that
,
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apply
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 it is only
personals
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personnel
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 with
computer
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a computer
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 science background that could work on the new excel sheet and so they are needed for immediate employment since it is difficult for those on the
job
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 trained workers.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when
one
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complete
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completes
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 higher
education
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, it will go a long way to help them have
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better job opportunities
a better job opportunity
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job
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 opportunities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
better
Add an article
a better
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 understanding of
Add an article
the concept
a concept
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concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
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 is
one
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 of the many reasons others claim experience and skills are paramount. A key factor to
this
Linking Words
 is that, since people have been doing a particular
job
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 for a period of time, they understand and can explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 behind what they do. Even though experience and soft skill
is
Change the verb form
are
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essentials
Fix the agreement mistake
essential
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,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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not
with standing
Correct your spelling
withstanding
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can not help individuals to secure a better career because the world is changing and
certificate
Correct article usage
a certificate
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 is much
needed
Correct quantifier usage
more needed
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Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 anything.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 Amoah could not attain the head of finance position after working for 25years as he does not have a university certificate. In conclusion, after examining the two opposing views, it is felt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to complete a university
education
Use synonyms
 to obtain a better
job
Use synonyms
 rather than relying on experience. I will
therefore
Linking Words
 recommend that individuals should work towards it no matter the cost.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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