For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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It is an undeniable fact that people are working for
money
Use synonyms
. A great number of individuals opine that
money
Use synonyms
is the reason why an individual works too much. In my opinion, it is not only for
money
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that a worker pushes himself but there are other factors that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
him exert too much effort like self-actualization and self-confidence.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is mainly due to
money
Use synonyms
why
Correct word choice
that
show examples
a person has to work hard.
This
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
will definitely assist the person
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
his finances and expenditures
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
as bills and services he needs to pay on time. Inasmuch as
Submitted by springwaltz92 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
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