In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
elder
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to live in aged
care
, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
expensive and families
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have enough money to pay for it. In my personal
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
I believe that Government must pay for
this
service as it is expensive and it needs to be included in the superannuation.
To begin
with, Age
care
facilities are expensive and it is difficult for families to pay for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in their children's homes because they need special
care
or someone has to look after them. Keeping a family and elder
people
at the same time
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
hard work and socially uncontrolled. Government should pay for
this
service and help young
people
to have their parents well
care
and well emotionally. In
Correct your spelling
instance
instace
Add a comma
,instace
show examples
most elder
people
are depressed that they have become
incompeten
Correct your spelling
incompetent
incompetence
.
Secondly
, All
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to pay an amount from their salary for
supperanuation
Correct your spelling
superannuation
. There is
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
sense that you have been
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
for years and
then
when you get old the
Governement
Correct your spelling
Government
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not really
care
about you, The
superranuation
Correct your spelling
superannuation
is the way that government excuses that you will be right when you get older,
however
, the money is not enough for age
care
facilities or
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
expenses.
For example
, there are elder
people
who have died in their homes alone
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
they are not in the capability to get even a nurse
care
. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
Government
Governmen
Correct your spelling
governments
should pay for age
care
facilities as a recompense for all your hard work during
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
.
Submitted by ing.dianamora on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: