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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
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It is assumed that the main purpose of tertiary
education
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 is to create more job opportunities for
students
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while
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 others argue that the benefits of higher
education
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 are much wider than that for both graduates and
society
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both opinions and give reasons why I support the latter statement. On the one hand, it is thought that the main reason why
students
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 embark on universities is to secure a
high-paid
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high-paying
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 job after graduating. To explain, at school,
students
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 will be equipped with useful knowledge and relevant job skills through some academic subjects
such
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 as mathematics, physics, and languages which may be helpful for their future career path to some extent.
Moreover
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, firms are increasingly looking at candidates with qualifications and experiences in a particular field today, which means that bachelor's degree holders are more likely to have advantages over those without.
Therefore
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, more and more people lean toward formal institutions after graduating from high school nowadays.
On the other hand
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, aside from being employable,
students
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 and
society
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 would gain more advantages from pursuing higher
education
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. On the individual level, universities tend to provide their attendees with a healthy environment to develop their personalities.
For instance
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, we can boost our confidence and lead active lifestyles by working in groups or joining more social events at university.
Furthermore
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, on the societal level, it is believed that schools would prepare
students
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 to be members of
society
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 by teaching young people moral values
such
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 as tolerance, and integrity.
In other words
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, a cultured student might be less likely to commit a crime than a young adult who does not pursue tertiary
education
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.
As a result
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, it would reduce crimes at a young age and contribute to a safer and wealthier
society
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. In conclusion, formal university
education
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 could guarantee graduates land a lucrative career
while
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 I insist that schools would hone
students
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' social skills and cultivate them to become better men for the community.
Submitted by leanh358 on

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task response
Ensure that your arguments are fully supported with strong and relevant examples and explanations to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay. Link your ideas more clearly and cohesively within and between sentences.
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