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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
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Some people think that a punishment should be allowed to give lessons for
children
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 if they do bad actions. I totally agree, that punishment makes more
children
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 with a positive act, but there are more effective ways to give lessons to
children
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 to do a positive act
such
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 as awarding and gifts.
To begin
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 with, at an early age immature age . Many of them are curious something new experiences and exclude that their actions are right or wrong.
Parents
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 and teachers have a role as adult people to give lessons to their kids and help them to understand. Some
parents
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 and teachers give punishment to make them more disciplined or do bad behaviour.
For example
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, teachers in Indonesia are allowed to give sanctions for students who break the school rules
such
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 as arriving late to school or not wearing uniforms in the right way.
As a result
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, they should stand in court and salute the flag until the break time. From the sanctions, students understand the consequences of an act and become more disciplined.
On the other hand
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, many
parents
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 give a reason to punish their kids with physical harm when they do bad behaviour. In my opinion, the abuse should not be used in a wrong way.
This
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 can affect when they grow
such
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 as trauma and mental health.
Moreover
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, more effective if
parents
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 five appreciate or award their kids if they do the best thing.
For instance
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,
parents
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 can give a small gift like chocolate or toys, which can encourage the child to do the right actions
such
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 as having the highest grade which can help them learn to distinguish good from bad.
To conclude
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, discipline is necessary to teach
children
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 more discipline and responsibility.
However
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, the retribution should not be physical but could involve the royalties and awarding for the
children
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 which is good for their growth.
Submitted by dliyaa on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with specific examples and explanations to illustrate your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear logical flow between paragraphs and within each paragraph to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing both the necessity and alternatives to punishment for teaching children right from wrong.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure, including an introduction and conclusion, helps guide the reader through the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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