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Band 5

It is more effective if doctors do rounds (see patients in the hospital) in pairs, not individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #rounds #patients #pairs
In my opinion, I always prefer to check
patients
 with my colleagues,
work
 in pairs or even in
team
Add an article
the team
a team
show examples
 will bring many advantages for the
patients
.
First
 of all, the
patiens
Correct your spelling
patients
patient
 always feel more rest assured when being examined by more than
one
doctor
. They can
also
 listen to
one
doctor
's
Correct your spelling
explanation
explaination
Correct your spelling
explanation
 and the other's opinion, so the
Correct your spelling
patients
patient
patiens
Correct your spelling
patients
 will be sure if all the doctors
Correct your spelling
agree
argree
Correct your spelling
agree
 with each other. If they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
confuse
Change the form of the verb
confused
show examples
 after a
doctor
 explained, they still can get help from the other
one
 to understand clearly about their situation.
Secondly
,
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 doctors,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 as a
team
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
 better than individually.
Team
Correct your spelling
Teamwork
show examples
work
 will help the physicians
reduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mistake when
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
medicion
Correct your spelling
medication
. Sharing personal perspectives when doing
round
Fix the agreement mistake
rounds
show examples
 will help physicians remind each other about clinical knowledge as well as constantly update and supplement new advancements and developments.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
, doctors can not agree with each other so they can find new
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 to protect
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 opinion,
that is
 how they can learn by
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
 on every patient.
In addition
,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 rounds as a
team
 will maximize transparency between
patients
 and medical
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
.
This
 contributes to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 unnecessary fraud in hospital and help the medical profession to get better every day. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 when routine checking
patients
 is the best way to improve
treatment's
Change noun form
treatment
show examples
 quality. As a
doctor
 who always put the patient
first
, I support
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 in every aspect of
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 field, because it's
one
 of the decisive factors for
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
 to improve their skills,
patients
 to recover quickly and to help medical
profesion
Correct your spelling
profession
professional
 develop.
Submitted by Andy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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