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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

These days, a considerable amount of adversing is directed at children.Sould it be banned because of the adverse effects? to some extent do you agree or disagree?

During the
last
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 5 decades, there has been a considerable growth in the number of companies that produce and sell a variety of goods.Introducing their products and increasing the annual sale rate are their important aims.They believe it can be done easily by commercials which aim at
children
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.Many oppose
ads
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 that are directed at
kids
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 because of their negative effects.I somewhat agree with
this
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 opinion for many reasons.
To begin
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 with,if companies are not allowed to advertise to
children
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 and introduce products they make,it would be challenging for
kids
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 to buy a product,as they do not have adequate information about that.Since all
ads
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 are not for toys,
parents
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 can benefit from them in order to develop their knowledge about vitamins and educational products that help their
kids
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 grow better,physically,and mentally.
Moreover
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, some advertisers dedicate 10 per cent of their revenues to producing entertaining shows for
children
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.
Such
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 programs provide
parents
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 with an opportunity to respite from their
children
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.Banning
ads
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 for
children
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 leads to the lack of these TV shows and reduces
this
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 free time for
parents
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.
On the other hand
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, sometimes adults are guilty of purchasing unnecessary things that are not necessary under the effects of
ads
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.When commercials can manipulate mature people, it is easier for them to trick
children
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.As they do not have money,they pester continually their
parents
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 to buy what is advertised,and it can be bothering for both
children
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 and
parents
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.
In addition
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, all
ads
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 are designed to instil a sense of happiness and satisfaction in
kids
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 by having something which is publicized,but it is an immediate joy ,and they become disinterested and
then
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 start looking for something else.It can propagate consumerism in
children
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 from an early age that would not be beneficial for their future.Another is, that many teachers claim that
ads
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 have shortened
children
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's attention snaps,and it is harder than ever before for them to stay focused on something because after a while a flashy commercial stimulates
children
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,and causes them to lose their train of thought. To summarise,
although
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ads
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 cause
children
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 and their
parents
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 to become aware of product features ,and help them to have better choices, they can nurture consumerism in
kids
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.They
also
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 can have a destructive impact on their concentration and deviate them from focusing on what they are doing.
Thus
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, I think some limitations should be imposed on commercials that target
kids
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 ,in order to relieve unwanted negative consequences of
ads
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 on them in the long run.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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