IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
Nowadays, people have different opinions on advertisements stating that some ads lead us
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
 excessively unnecessary
products
;
however
, some provide effective information about new
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 that make our lives much easier. I agree with the
second
stand point
Correct your spelling
standpoint
show examples
 and in
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the reasons why I agree with it. In
this
 IT age, almost all of our everyday functions can be done on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. As it was mentioned in the term "Internet of Things", most of our activities like shopping, ordering food and even getting a cab can be performed via
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 using particular applications. With
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 daily changing technologies, we can always get new gadgets that will make our daily lives easier. At
this
 point, we need to know what are these and how will they perform the tasks that we felt
irretated
Correct your spelling
irritated
 to do in our daily routines and here is where
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisment
Correct article usage
the advertisment
show examples
 can explain. As a case study, there are a lot of new Educational Technology tools that we can use today for our personal development.
Instead
 of going to evening classes after tiring working hours, we can learn for your development from home without any commuting time.
This
 kind of technology and lifestyle can
be introduces
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be introduced
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 to us by commercials. They explain new potential ways how we can learn from home and they convey
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 we can change our lifestyle with the help of new technologies. Another positive point is that the
Correct your spelling
marketing
marketting
Correct your spelling
marketing
 companies use Artificial Intelligence algorithms from our social media to find out what would be the
products
 or services that we are recently interested
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 With the help of
this
 technology, they provided a certain amount of
Correct your spelling
advertisements
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 about the
products
 or services in which we can get sufficient information about our
interest
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interests
show examples
.
Then
 we can scan through the specifications of a number of options that we can choose easily.
However
, It is not necessary to buy all the
products
 and services that are promoted
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 commercials. We can observe these
into
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in
show examples
details
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detail
show examples
 and evaluate if
these
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are really suitable for our needs and only if it is reasonable
in
Change preposition
apply
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technically and commercially, we can proceed
Change preposition
with buying
show examples
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. At the end of the process, we are the people who will make the buying decisions.
Submitted by zayyar6367 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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