In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of change have occurred? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

Nowadays,It has seen the switch roles among family characters ,
for example
,the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
majority of wife duties have been divided between men and women,
although
,these new actions might build more gender equality in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
, It is inevitable
this new behaviours
Change the determiner
this new behaviour
these new behaviours
show examples
are a source of controversies among families ,
although
,in my viewpoint,there are
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
pros than cons for a nation in related
this
evolution ,so, I am going to bring some piece of evidence to clarify my opinion. In a beginning , men have more benefits from new arranging responsibilities among all family members ,because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,they will sense less stress on their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
for managing their families and have more time to invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their desired activities ,
as a result
,they will become more happy in their life ,alongside,females can get a
dillema
Correct your spelling
dilemma
diploma
for growing their weaknesses in career positions and become an effective person in their community ,
in addition
to, youngers will have a wise mother, and spend much time with their own father and learn much lessons to deal with their future problematic situations ,so all above, It will create more prosperous individuals.
However
,
these new settlement
Change the determiner
this new settlement
these new settlements
show examples
might be a source of some
conflictions
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
mong
Correct your spelling
among
show examples
family members and It could
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
possibility
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
of divorce rate ,
nevertheless
,people must respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
rights and let
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them that will experience new roles in
consider
Change the verb form
considering
show examples
with some negative
Correct your spelling
issues
isuues
Correct your spelling
issues
,
for example
, rich husbands would prefer their wives stay at homes and do
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
,but, women need to get own identity in all parts of a community . To sum up, policymakers must combat
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
tackels
Correct your spelling
tackles
tickets
by educating
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
nation that the society could be flourished on new characteristics in a family , so , I believe
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
new changes will bring more prosperity for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
,because , they can become anyone that they have desired.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: