Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
current century, the government became
a diverse field where the younger population started occupying important status. Wrong verb form
has become
While
some think that these positions are not suitable for the youth, others argue that, oppositely, it is a good idea. I personally agree with the first idea, and I am going to discuss these two views and elaborate on my own perspectives in the following paragraphs.
On one hand, it might be thought that age
is a crucial factor that influences the ability to direct important tasks. What supports this
belief is the fact that the older population have more experience in the working field, therefore
is able to occupy higher positions in the government. They also
have lived longer within the society and have had the chance to deeply know its problems and needs. Currently in my country, for example
, the authority is mostly occupied by the elderly that
have worked before in multiple fields as citizens, and once they got to Correct pronoun usage
who
the
important positions, they did a great job understanding the community.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, other people think that age
might not define one person's competencies because many young adults have achieved noticeable accomplishments at an early age
. They can get involved in politics since college as well, making them more experienced by the time they graduate. Also
, youth represents a large portion of citizens, and therefore
they need an authority made of a community approximately
the same Change preposition
of approximately
age
. To support this
belief, a research study showed that young adults had more to offer to their countries, making effort
to get in touch with their peers through social media and surveys to analyse the difficulties they face in their society.
To summarize, I fully agree with the suggestion that youth should occupy important spots in the government Correct article usage
an effort
instead
of the older population because they are more in touch with the community and do a better job fixing its problems and needs.Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on
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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the argument with logical reasoning and evidence. Adding more specific examples or evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs for better coherence. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion reflects and summarizes the essay effectively, reinforcing the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task response requirements.
task achievement
The arguments are relatively clear and supported with reasonable examples.
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