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Band 5.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
It is widely believed that Individuals should take
risks
 in their professional
lives
 as well as their personal
lives
.
Although
 there could be certain dangers connected to unemployment,I tend to agree that there are more benefits. Foremost,
people
 who take
risks
, both in their professional
lives
 and their personal life create more opportunities for themselves. In terms of professional
lives
Add a comma
,lives
show examples
 some
people
 change a job for a higher salary and others break up with theirs for getting a more suitable relationship for personal reasons. Every change could take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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danger and lead to a huge impact on the future, which was unexcepted and unpredictable. Despite the fact that things which take
risks
 could result in failure and sometimes may destroy our comfort zone, Specifically in our professional
lives
. It not only makes a significant effect on us
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 affects families'
lives
. If individuals take
risks
 to get another job but fail may deal with unemployment.
However
, every failure is meaningful even though
people
 can not achieve the goal through
this
 process, it will nurture our
lives
 and will enable them to learn from the experience, improve their skills and accomplish their purpose
next
 time .
On the other hand
,
people
 would cherish the things they got and the lifestyle they live, which involved a lot of effort and
risks
. Overall,
although
 taking
risks
 in individual professional
lives
 and their personal
lives
 sometimes may lead to failure,
while
Correct word choice
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show examples
it is important for
people
 to gain benefits from these errors.
Submitted by c5101502 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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