IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
Due to
 the hardship of life people who lived in ancient
times
 faced a lot of inconveniences. Many individuals
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that the living standards of the residents have improved considerably nowadays. I am totally convinced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the above-mentioned statement. In the paragraph given below, I will discuss the points supporting my views.
To begin
 with, there are myriads of reasons for how the quality of life these days has changed substantially. First and foremost, the prevailing fastest and
easy
Replace the word
easiest
show examples
 modes of transportation
such
 as buses, trains and aeroplanes, have changed the situation in a positive way. Particularly, a person can move from one place to another, very conveniently and quickly,
however
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earlier
times
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of transport facilities humans found it quite hard to travel.
For example
, in ancient
times
 with no means of public transport, people used to travel by cycle or rickshaw but now with convenient road,air and train services anyone can move anywhere in a very short span of time.
Secondly
, in
this
 contemporary era,the quality of education has
also
 potentially enhanced. Almost every educational institute these days
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 equipped with the latest gadgets like projectors, computers and numerous laboratories to support medical students,
therefore
, it assists a child to learn practical knowledge that will definitely help them to pursue a better career.
As a result
, it could help them
in procuring
Wrong verb form
procure
show examples
 a
high-paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
 job in the future that will automatically boost their standard of living.
For instance
, a commerce student nowadays could get access to Tally software in their internship
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is often used by various business concerns for accounting purposes,
therefore
 with
this
 knowledge, a candidate could get a starting package of
Rs
 15
lakh
 to
Rs
 20
Lakh
 annually, as compared to earlier
times
 when they used to get an initial salary of
Rs
 5
lakh
 to
Rs
 7
lakh
 only.
Furthermore
, with the invention of various means of communication like mobile phones and with the advent of a number of software like Webex and Zoom
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
, a person can easily perform their duties by sitting anywhere in the country.
Due to
 that, numerous Multinational companies are hiring
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
employees
 from different geographical locations
having
Wrong verb form
who have
show examples
 the best skills and qualifications.
As of that
Change preposition
That
show examples
, these organisations are earning exorbitant revenue by not only dealing with reputed clients across the globe but
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
also
 recruiting the most efficient
employees
 from all over the world, since they can perform work from home with the latest technologies. To exemplify, in a recent survey conducted by Infosys in India, in 2020, it had been revealed that their revenue had boosted up to almost
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 after their
employees
 started working from home with the adoption of the latest technologies, so with the increased profit
employees
 can earn enhanced incentives and pay
hence
 it will automatically improve their standard of living.
To conclude
, nowadays with the improved educational system
due to
 the use of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technologies helps in improving the living standard,
moreover
, efficient modes of transportation
also
 play a very vital role in it.
Submitted by kirnu0216 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. The body paragraphs are logically structured with clear supporting points and relevant examples.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas. Relevant examples are provided to support the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: