Some people believe that advertisements targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisements as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Ever since the liberalization (losing of
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
) of media,
advertisements
have been its primary source of revenue.
Children
, who are in their formative years (early stages 0-8), are more likely to be influenced by
advertisements
than their elder counterparts (peer/equivalent) and are regularly targeted by marketers. It is agreed that
this
has negative effects on
children
,
thus
, shall be banned.
This
will be proven by looking at how, these
advertisements
can ultimately make
children
defiant, (resistant) and play a part in distracting
children
from academic activities.
To begin
, when
children
are exposed to an advertisement for products that their parents can’t afford to provide for them,
children
often resort (fall back on) to defying (disobey) both, their parents, and society.
For instance
, it is a known fact that most
children
, who go on to become rebels (rise in opposition), had been deprived (lack of) of their wishes for items that they don’t even need, nor can afford,
such
as elegant toys and expensive mobile phones.
This
shows that
advertisements
for certain kinds of products can lead
children
to develop delinquent tendencies (offence /crime).
Hence
, promotional material that targets
children
has more than its fair share (
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
show examples
amount) of disadvantages.
In addition
to
this
, a large number of flashy
advertisements
(animated web
add
Correct your spelling
ads
show examples
) can subconsciously have a detrimental effect on a child’s academics.
For instance
, after being barraged (bombard) by an endless amount of
advertisements
in a short span of time, juveniles (
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
) can lose their ability to focus on a certain task for an extended period of time.
Thus
being exposed to
such
advertisements
can take its toll (charge)on a child’s brain. After analyzing
this
, the demerits of
advertisements
targeting
children
are manifested (indicate/display). Following
this
look at how
advertisements
aimed at
children
can, undermine (weaken) their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and hinder the achievement of their academic objectives, it is evident that these
advertisements
have adverse effects on
children
.
Thus
it is hoped that governments should muse (consider)
upon
Change preposition
apply
show examples
banning
such
advertisements
.
Submitted by ibrahimzafaracca on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • pressure parents
  • unnecessary products
  • childhood obesity
  • highly impressionable
  • materialistic values
  • constant exposure
  • exploit
  • persuasive intent
  • vulnerable to manipulation
  • educate children
  • beneficial
  • impact companies economically
What to do next:
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