The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#movement #people #areas #cities #work #places #measures

It is true that moving from agricultural

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

to downtown areas to work has bad effects on both two places,

while

governments

could certainly take steps to address these obstacles. As we can see, both agricultural areas and cities have

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

some serious troubles. On one hand, metropolises having a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

quantity population can cause traffic congestion and a competitive work environment.

Public

Correct article usage

The public

show examples

who live in cities can have a threat to air pollution caused by the usage of many cars,

this

is not good for humans' health. At the same time,

people

are facing a more competitive job environment given more

people

are looking for jobs.

On the other hand

, rural ranges are losing their local

people

, which means the prospect of local development is bad.

This

can be a worse circular in the future.

However

governments

and individuals can take steps to address these problems which are happening in these two places.

Firstly

governments

can put more investments in public transport systems,

therefore

people

prefer to take public transport rather than

driving

Wrong verb form

drive

show examples

to work.

Secondly

, individuals can share their private cars together. Most cars just have one person to drive,

this

is wasting road space and causing more air pollution.

Thirdly

governments

can provide training courses to

people

who do not have sufficient qualifications. So they can get new skills and

this

can improve their possibilities of getting jobs.

Finally

, in rural areas

governments

can build more train stations to increase employment,

this

can provide local

people

with more job opportunities.

Furthermore

, trains can have more close connections with big cities and other places,

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is helpful for development. In conclusion, authorities can take some measures to solve the problems mentioned above and I believe these issues will be addressed

finally

Submitted by wangpeiying96 on Sun Aug 14 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the question thoroughly and clearly. Provide a comprehensive response to the task prompt by expanding on the serious problems caused by the movement of people from agricultural areas to cities, and by offering detailed measures to solve the problem.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but there is room for improvement in connecting ideas and supporting arguments. Use cohesive devices and transitions to make the flow of ideas smoother and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

294 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Question: Traffic congestion in many cities in the world makes it difficult for people to get in and out of cities, and to move around inside them. Why do you think this is happening? What could be done to solve these problems?