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Band 2.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Technology development plays a significant role in our lives and
change
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changes
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 people's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, while more and more
children
 have their own
smartphones
 and
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 a number of hours on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, which may cause some serious issues in
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 trend. When
children
 taking focus on their
smartphones
 , they might not notice
about
Change preposition
apply
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what
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 happened in their surroundings, even the conversation among their friends . Meanwhile , if kids indulged in the virtue world from
smartphones
 , they would stop generating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new things in reality because things from the internet
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 much more interesting for them.
This phenomena
Change the determiner
This phenomenon
These phenomena
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 may cause damage to
children
's development , they will be more likely to contact others with their
smartphones
 without
Add an article
a face
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face - by - face
Correct your spelling
face-by-face
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 communication in the future. It is no doubt that
smartphones
brings
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bring
show examples
 convention to the world.
However
 ,
less
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fewer
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 people can hardly limit
the
Change the word
their
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 time on using the products,
specifically
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specifical
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children
 for no exceptional . Time will run fastly when kids are being phubbers and the connections between them and the world will
Correct your spelling
truly
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
 reduce. Overall ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
children
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 hours on their
smartphones
in
Change preposition
apply
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daily,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may lose the time for them to chat with friends in reality and
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 energy on its for nothing . It is a negative trend for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 development.
Submitted by c5101502 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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