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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, many people do not have time to spend with their families in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #time #families #cities
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It is unfortunately very common and even normal today, that it is difficult for people in urbanised areas to allocate enough
time
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 to spend with their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
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 ones. Sadly,
this
Linking Words
 situation creates a literal pandemic of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in
life
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. Despite that there are too many root causes of these negative factors to fix all of them, it is possible to change the scheduling habits, which would help improve the mental well-being of inhabitants of large cities. People who live in cities and work
full
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full-time
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time
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 are not able to feel good, simply because their timetables are full of duties and obligations. There is often no free space for enough interaction with their relatives. Talking over
a
Correct article usage
the
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 telephone for a few minutes
while
Linking Words
 commuting creates an illusion of proximity to your family, but in reality,
such
Linking Words
 talks are only a half-measure. Specifically, recent research has concluded that the lack of regular offline family gatherings decreased the average happiness below the World War II levels. Needless to say,
this
Linking Words
 lack of quality communication between family members has to be addressed. Real improvements could only be achievable by introducing changes to scheduling habits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if someone would like to increase his quality of
life
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 by spending more
time
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 with his relatives, he should first look at what kind of activities his daily routine is full of. It could be,
for instance
Linking Words
, excessive use of social networks, or a workplace that takes a too long
time
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 to drive to. Obviously, not all
time
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 sinks can be eliminated at once, but it should not be too difficult to recognise the biggest ones and implement alterations. In conclusion, to summarize the above,
while
Linking Words
 it is nowadays normal to be unhappy in the modern urban environment
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of conversations with your family members, it is always possible to increase your quality of
life
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 by dedicating more
time
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 to meeting them in real
life
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.
Submitted by chugreevd on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure and organization of your essay to ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all aspects of the task question and provides relevant examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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