IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A lot of production
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 consist
high
Change preposition
of high
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of
sugar
Use synonyms
, which causes many health problems. The
price
Use synonyms
 of
sugary
Add an article
the sugary
a sugary
show examples
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 should be made
more high
Replace the words
higher
show examples
 to force
people
Use synonyms
 to consume less
sweet
Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
show examples
. In my opinion, I do disagree with that
statements
Fix the agreement mistake
statement
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 are addicted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 sugary
products
Use synonyms
 and
Correct your spelling
increasing
inceasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 which is a majority of the main dish will lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge market inflation.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are sticking with sugary
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
, increasing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 won't change the high amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
 consumption.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will keep buying the
products
Use synonyms
 because sugary
food
Use synonyms
 is already their main dish,
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sweet
food
Use synonyms
 is part of
original
Correct article usage
the original
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in some
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, In Java, every
food
Use synonyms
taste
Change the verb form
tastes
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 sweet
such
Linking Words
 as Gudeg
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and Nasi Goreng
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 core
indegerients
Correct your spelling
independents
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the sugary
food
Use synonyms
 is already attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Instead
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 intake. The government can make seminars or
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 to build
Correct your spelling
awareness
awereness
Correct your spelling
awareness
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the higher
price
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 would make less income
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals or companies
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can lead to huge market inflation.
In addition
Linking Words
, sugary
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 are high demand in the market where the
price
Use synonyms
 should be stable. In short, if the government decided to increase the
price
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer to afford it.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesia's inflation
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 by 5.0% which is the biggest rate in ASIA because of
increased
Add an article
the increased
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price
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and drink.
Thus
Linking Words
, the solution of high sugary
products
Use synonyms
 will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and lead
people
Use synonyms
 to poverty. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
, some
Correct your spelling
suggest
sugest
Correct your spelling
suggest
 sugary
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 should be made more expensive to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
consumer
Replace the word
consume
show examples
 less
sugar
Use synonyms
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I disagree because
people
Use synonyms
 get often
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
consume their authentic
sugar
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 and it would lead to
worsen
Change the verb form
worsening
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economy. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the government should make
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
 awareness campaign to introduce
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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