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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #admissions
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There are some
museums
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 that open their doors to
people
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 freely, but others are not free, and visitors have to pay to enter. There are several disadvantages like some individuals are not able to spend money on these kinds of movements, and
also
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 some advantages
such
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 as increasing the financial condition of
museums
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 to do more cultural activities. I believe the benefits of charging admission outweigh the drawbacks for plenty of reasons. There are several minus points associated with museum tickets.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 who are interested in visiting cultural places can not afford expenditures.
For example
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, it is very hard for the elderly, collegians, and pupils who are the major visitors of these places to pay money for every single museum they want to see.
Secondly
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, charging
people
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 for admissions can discourage
people
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 to follow the galleries. Individuals tend not to spend money on these activities because they think
museums
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 are national properties. Charging everyone who wants to enter galleries can bring some benefits to society.
First
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, cultural centres can collect budgets to hold more professional plans. Governments in many countries determine limited budgets for these centres, so they have to try other ways to enhance their financial situations.
Furthermore
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, there are many artists who work at the
museums
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can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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 use
this
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 extra fund to produce various artworks.
As a result
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, the majority of
people
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 can benefit from these special activities, and it increases our cultural communications. In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages related to charging
people
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 for entering
museums
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. From my point of view, there are more positive points than negative ones.
Submitted by omid.afsharpour on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
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