Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some individuals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
believe that
music
has
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
way
Add an article
the way
a way
show examples
of bringing different
people
together . in my personal
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
I completely agree with
this
statement.
Firstly
,
music
can bring
people
together because
music
is a universal language
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means you do not have to understand every single word to understand the meaning .
music
is a language that
everyone
can understand
music
has no
any
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apply
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color
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colour
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, Age or religion , so
everyone
can enjoy it say in way. it doesn't matter what
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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your ethnicity wealth or living
music
can't touch
everyone
's heart .
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
Indian
music
is very popular in Sri Lanka and other countries even without knowing the real meaning and
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
goes
English
Change preposition
for English
show examples
music
.
music
is a powerful
Correct your spelling
language
langyage
Correct your spelling
language
that can bring peace to
everyone
.
Secondly
,
music
is
medicine
. they are
are
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apply
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so many doctors in
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
recommended
Correct pronoun usage
who recommended
show examples
music
as the treatment for
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, doctors
use
it
for
Change preposition
to
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calm
people
, because
music
can come
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
very easily and fast
also
music
can
use
as sleeping
medicine
.
However
,
people
use
it as
medicine
since
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for
show examples
thousand
years
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of years
show examples
.
Although
it can
use
for
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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while animals are sensitive
for
Change preposition
to
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some kind of
music
.
finally
, it is always not a good way to bring
people
together, because there is some racist
music
in some countries. sometimes, few songs
use
words that
inappropriate
Add a missing verb
are inappropriate
show examples
for children. In conclusion, most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
music
can bring
people
together, since it can
use
as
medicine
and it is universal language
music
for good things and definitely bring us
a peace
Remove the article
peace
a feeling of peace
a sense of peace
a wave of peace
show examples
if we
use
it correctly.
Submitted by hasitha9610s on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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