Some people believe that if a police force carries guns, it would cause a high level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recent years have witnessed that violent cases are happening frequently in the community,
while
the public has been discussing whether police officers carrying weapons lead to riots or not. From my perspective, I firmly believe that this
is a necessity and it will maintain peace instead
of violence in current society.
To begin
with, it may be a misunderstanding when the public observes strangers bringing along a wide variety of weapons. There is no denying that citizens may feel frustrated or worried when seeing people wandering around with deadly machinery. Recent reports from China have cited that the crime rate has dramatically increased around the globe. As an example, robberies and killing innocents could be seen in media
, Correct article usage
the media
likewise
, the public thinks that violence could be potentially happening when seeing forces using guns. Therefore
, overreactions towards crime might be a reason why current
people are afraid of seeing cops nowadays.
Correct word choice
apply
On the other hand
, despite security being guaranteed, residents cannot feel protected without proper evidence. It is well-known that citizens have the privilege of peace and quiet in their daily lives, however
, in spite of the increasing number of officers to guard the city, fatal incidents can still be happening. Consequently
, the government should take up
measures in order to Change preposition
apply
decline
residents' stress. Verb problem
reduce
For instance
, promises and actions made by the security departments can be acquired and guaranteed, meanwhile, strict laws can be enforced immediately to decrease the crime rate in one's city.
To conclude
, there is no doubt that current fateful incidents may affect the mental behaviour of residents. In addition
, citizens may reduce frustration when seeing police officers, inasmuch as they enhance the security level and keep their promises.Submitted by l2gamecenter on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, it can be further improved by providing more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally sound, with a clearly presented introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting main points could be further developed and connected to improve coherence and cohesion.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!