Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Opinions on the effects of
freedom
on children
are divided. Some individuals argue that letting them choose their daily needs may lead to the development of self-centred characteristics. Others think that it is imperative for children
to have an understanding of the various factors that have shaped their development. In my opinion, I believe that children
must still be under parental supervision to make any decision.
Firstly
, the phenomenon of freedom
has the potential to negatively impact the behavioural tendencies of children
. There is concern that children
may be excessively emancipated when parents grant them autonomy in decision-making. Therefore
, it builds character which makes them unconscious of any rules. Moreover
, freedom
will allow children
to be self-reliant, while
obstacles imposed by nature can impede their acceptance of societal norms.
Conversely
, children
are likewise
entitled to select their preferred food, clothes, and entertainment that they like. This
empowers them to exercise autonomy in decision-making and cultivate a firm set of values based on their personal preferences. Additionally
, it fosters the development of their creative abilities, as they possess a breadth of perspective and are not confined by external desires.
In conclusion, I believe that directing children
to choose something at an age that still needs guidance will form discipline. When they get older, do not let them be a selfish person. Even though freedom
is an important thing for the children
develop their character and an out-of-the-box mindset. They will know their strengths and weaknesses and the positive influences that shape their life.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Try to introduce more specific examples to support your points, which would further clarify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving paragraph transitions to make the essay more cohesive and ensure smoother flow between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the two opposing views and states the writer's opinion.
supported main points
Most of the main points are supported with some explanation, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and restates the writer's opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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