The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

Although

I agree that there is a requirement of implementing hard laws for the public, I think the government

also

need to play an integral role to boost the recycling process.

On the other hand

, arts,

music

and theatre are not a waste of money, since they are an integral part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society’s cultural and intellectual development and amusement.

Firstly

, art and

music

draw people’s attention to diverse phenomena and represent the inward significance of things. Quite often a single drawing, piece or song can exhort myriads of people to reconsider their attitude towards some situation.

This

way, art serves as a major source of

nation’s

Correct article usage

the nation’s

show examples

personal and intellectual development.

Moreover

, visiting museums, watching movies and listening to

music

are common ways of relaxation and entertainment.

Thus

art

Correct article usage

the art

show examples

sector is

also

important for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and should not be neglected. To conclude, though I agree that the government should allocate a large part of its budget

Change preposition

show examples

such

urgent needs of the society like public services, I think that arts,

music

and theatre should

also

be financed since they play an important role in people’s development and entertainment.

Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on Mon Aug 15 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

189 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
public services
economic benefits
mental health
well-being
equitable access
creativity
innovation
prioritize
essential services
healthcare
education
tourism
global recognition
holistic development
mutually exclusive
philanthropy
subsidize
infrastructure
socio-economic status
altruistic
civic engagement
aesthetics
civic pride
utilitarian

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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationship. Do you agree or disagree.

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