In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? What is the solution?

Nowadays, most
children
prefer to spend more
time
with friends than with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
parents
.
This
phenomenon is usually observed among adolescents. Modern society has increased the difference in development level between
parents
and
thier
Correct your spelling
their
kids.
Although
some families worry about
this
,
parents
have to balance their
time
for help when their
children
are well organised. Social networks have changed rapidly in the
last
two decades, so most teenagers like to spend with classmates in
school
. They don't rush to go
home
after
school
. The rationale behind
this
is that high
school
students have a lot of work projects that require
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teamwork, or they want to stay beside colleagues.
For instance
, most high
school
students need to spend
time
in
school
after class in high-development countries. In a study conducted in 2022, ninety per cent of pupils go back
home
after 9 p.m. every weekday in South Korea.
Therefore
, it is evident that the more
children
grow up, the less
time
they spend at
home
.
On the other hand
, some
parents
complain that their
children
are spending less
time
with their families and more
time
with their peers. The reason for
this
is that
parents
have a lot of expectations from their offspring. Actually, they want their
children
to be obedient to their control. Unfortunately, nowadays, it is not possible to control them when offspring grow up. A clear example of
this
can be seen in the United States, where most students study and spend
time
away from
home
since they are 14 years old.
Thus
, it is obvious that if your kids want to leave
home
more
time
, the family should admit them from
time
to
time
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
many adolescents spend
time
in
school
or any public area rather than at
home
until evening. As highlighted,
children
usually choose their peers in modern times. The family should understand them.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that supporting sentences directly relate to and develop this point further. Avoid introducing multiple ideas in one paragraph for clarity.
task achievement
While your response covers the main topic, it could benefit from more varied examples or data to substantiate your points, particularly regarding cultural or societal differences in family dynamics.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer thesis statement in your introduction, which concisely outlines the main arguments or ideas you plan to discuss in your essay. This will guide the reader more effectively through your response.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, providing closure and reiterating the central theme of family understanding in modern times.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies current societal changes (e.g., teamwork requirements, cultural expectations) that affect how adolescents divide their time between peers and family.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, such as those from South Korea and the United States, to illustrate your points, adding credibility to your observations about adolescent behavior.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social development
  • Peer influence
  • Educational demands
  • After-school activities
  • Parental engagement
  • Family bonding
  • Generation gap
  • Technological advancements
  • Virtual interaction
  • Work commitments
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Community programs
  • Mutual interests
  • Technology-free zones
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