In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? What is the solution?
Nowadays, most
children
prefer to spend more time
with friends than with thier
Correct your spelling
their
parents
. This
phenomenon is usually observed among adolescents. Modern society has increased the difference in development level between parents
and thier
kids. Correct your spelling
their
Although
some families worry about this
, parents
have to balance their time
for help when their children
are well organised.
Social networks have changed rapidly in the last
two decades, so most teenagers like to spend with classmates in school
. They don't rush to go home
after school
. The rationale behind this
is that high school
students have a lot of work projects that require with
teamwork, or they want to stay beside colleagues. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, most high school
students need to spend time
in school
after class in high-development countries. In a study conducted in 2022, ninety per cent of pupils go back home
after 9 p.m. every weekday in South Korea. Therefore
, it is evident that the more children
grow up, the less time
they spend at home
.
On the other hand
, some parents
complain that their children
are spending less time
with their families and more time
with their peers. The reason for this
is that parents
have a lot of expectations from their offspring. Actually, they want their children
to be obedient to their control. Unfortunately, nowadays, it is not possible to control them when offspring grow up. A clear example of this
can be seen in the United States, where most students study and spend time
away from home
since they are 14 years old. Thus
, it is obvious that if your kids want to leave home
more time
, the family should admit them from time
to time
.
In conclusion, it is clear that
many adolescents spend time
in school
or any public area rather than at home
until evening. As highlighted, children
usually choose their peers in modern times. The family should understand them.Submitted by nbogey777 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that supporting sentences directly relate to and develop this point further. Avoid introducing multiple ideas in one paragraph for clarity.
task achievement
While your response covers the main topic, it could benefit from more varied examples or data to substantiate your points, particularly regarding cultural or societal differences in family dynamics.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer thesis statement in your introduction, which concisely outlines the main arguments or ideas you plan to discuss in your essay. This will guide the reader more effectively through your response.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, providing closure and reiterating the central theme of family understanding in modern times.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies current societal changes (e.g., teamwork requirements, cultural expectations) that affect how adolescents divide their time between peers and family.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, such as those from South Korea and the United States, to illustrate your points, adding credibility to your observations about adolescent behavior.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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