IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
In the contemporary era, travelling to different places and
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 is one of the most welcomed approaches for recreation during holidays. Travelling is not restricted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 domesticated
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, but
also
 is extended to foreign
countries
. Some
people
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
show examples
 that fewer
people
 will choose to spend holidays
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 home country
instead
 of travelling aboard. From my
perspetive
Correct your spelling
perspective
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons which convince me to agree with the statement. Several compelling reasons can be listed to argue the strong motivations
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 visiting foreign
countries
 from visitors.
Initially
, those well-known attractions or landscapes aboard have no alternatives in the domestic area. Many
people
 dream about the famous
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
show examples
, cities, and natural
Correct your spelling
scenery
scenary
Correct your spelling
scenery
 from other
countries
 and
thus
 they would choose to visit the place without hesitation if there's a chance.
In addition
 to that,
people
 love travelling as they experience the culture shock and different living habits
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 exotic regions. Travelling aboard enables the chances to
be emerged
Change to the active voice
emerge
have emerged
show examples
 in different foods, arts and
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
, and
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
.
By contrast
, visiting somewhere in the same country would be restricted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar things with less
novelity
Correct your spelling
novelty
.
Lastly
, advanced technologies
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 applied to
Correct your spelling
transportation
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reduced costs for international flights, trains, and ships. The lower price could
enabled
Change the verb form
enable
show examples
people
 to expand their choices of destinations. Since visiting the world outside of the home country is a valuable opportunity to enrich their life experiences. On the
Correct your spelling
contrary
countrary
Correct your spelling
contrary
, someone proposes that the trend of international travelling will reduce due to the Covid-19 situation. Admittedly, the global pandemic brings
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 undeniable negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
tourisms
Correct your spelling
tourism
show examples
 and international transportation.
For instance
, the reduced flight numbers and delayed travelling schedules.
However
, the governmental restriction
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 travelling gradually alleviates
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many
countries
 and areas.
As a result
, we will be free to spend time on vacations somewhere outside of the
Correct your spelling
country
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
 in the
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
neat
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 future. In all, it is true that the global pandemic is one of the major impacts
to delay
Change the verb form
delaying
show examples
 chances of international travelling.
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, the trend of globalization is not going to be ended and strong desires to explore
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
 world from
people
 could lead them to pursue travellings aboard during vacations.
Submitted by yuleon8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: