More and more athletes are using drugs to enhance their performance. What do you think are the reasons and effects of this?

#athletes #drugs #performance #effects

Sports careers become attractive for numerous

people

all around the world. Many athletes start consuming

drugs

to achieve a rapid result,

while

others practice regularly

for developing

Change preposition

to develop

show examples

themself. In

this

essay, I will discuss possible reasons and consequences

drugs

might have The are a couple of causes why

sportsmans

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

start using

drugs

. It is not a secret that sport is a business and can make

people

wealth

Replace the word

wealthy

show examples

As a result

, athletes who are not gifted would like to take their place under the sun and finds stimulant as the only possible solution to improve their skills. Another major fact is that sportsmen who win frequently are quite popular. A successful athlete who

overperformed

Wrong verb form

overperforms

show examples

and always wins can significantly accelerate climbing on the career ladder.

Therefore

, they sign

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new contracts not only with sport-related companies but

also

with companies from other spheres for promoting their products.

On the other hand

, using sports medicine prevents finding

talents

Fix the agreement mistake

talent

show examples

as well as

has an influence on consumers' health. Doping demolishes fair competitions. Many

people

put their whole life into growing sports abilities and might be not recognized as the person who is under the

dopings

Fix the agreement mistake

doping

show examples

shows much greater results.

Also

, as

drugs

boost performance, they negatively affect health. If

people

do a lot of physical activity, their hearts might not be ready for that. In some severe cases,

drugs

can lead to death. In conclusion, consuming dopings can boost individual results in the short term and gain popularity

along with

wealthiness.

However

, from a long-term

perspective

Add a comma

perspective,

show examples

drugs

will cause health.

Moreover

, young talents can be missed as they do not use

drugs

and do not show adorable results.

Submitted by s.zinkevych on Tue Aug 16 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure but should work on improving the overall logical flow of ideas. Transition words and phrases can help improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more developed. They should explicitly outline the key points and arguments.

task achievement

The response is generally complete and addresses the prompt, but it would benefit from more comprehensive development of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more athletes are using drugs to enhance their performance. What do you think are the reasons and effects of this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motor-bike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe it is the responsibility of government to take care of the environment, others think people are responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the coutryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

More and more plastic waste is polluting cities, countryside and oceans. What problems does it cause? What are the solutions?

Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and trasportation. Do the advantages of this devlopment outweight the disadvantages.