In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #medicine #people #world #diseases #case

In recent years, medicine has progressed enormously,

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

the highest death rate is related to preventable

diseases

This

essay will examine the main causes of these problems and possible solutions.

To begin

, researches show most of these preventable

diseases

are multifactorial. means, the onset and progression of these

diseases

depend on several factors

such

as genetics and lifestyle. In recent decades people’s lifestyles have changed to processed and fast food and sedentary lifestyle.

For example

, nowadays in USA cardiovascular disease is o0ne of the most important reasons for people’s death.

That is

associated with genetics , stress and the kind of nutrition and activity rate of people.

Although

obviously the role of genetics cannot be changed. But health sector s can promote people’s knowledge and culture about having healthy nutrition and doing daily and regular exercises.

Moreover

, stress management techniques could be taught to people. To conclude, to prevent most preventable and chronic

diseases

prevention medicine plays an essential role.

Thus

by promoting awareness among people about the proper lifestyle we can see a significant decrease in the death of these

diseases

Submitted by fa.banihashem on Tue Aug 16 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities,therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When people people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work, luck has nothing to do with their success.

Some people say that the internet will soon become the prefered method of delivery of the news and information,causing the newspaper and magazines to gradually disappear.Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include examples from your knowledge or experience.