In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #medicine #people #world #diseases #case

In recent years, medicine has progressed enormously,

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

the highest death rate is related to preventable

diseases

This

essay will examine the main causes of these problems and possible solutions.

To begin

, researches show most of these preventable

diseases

are multifactorial. means, the onset and progression of these

diseases

depend on several factors

such

as genetics and lifestyle. In recent decades people’s lifestyles have changed to processed and fast food and sedentary lifestyle.

For example

, nowadays in USA cardiovascular disease is o0ne of the most important reasons for people’s death.

That is

associated with genetics , stress and the kind of nutrition and activity rate of people.

Although

obviously the role of genetics cannot be changed. But health sector s can promote people’s knowledge and culture about having healthy nutrition and doing daily and regular exercises.

Moreover

, stress management techniques could be taught to people. To conclude, to prevent most preventable and chronic

diseases

prevention medicine plays an essential role.

Thus

by promoting awareness among people about the proper lifestyle we can see a significant decrease in the death of these

diseases

Submitted by fa.banihashem on Tue Aug 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.
In some perspectives, individuals benefit from group activities, whilst such events provoke various advantages for the acquisition of intelligence, I could only partially agree with such opinions due to a few drawbacks which will be discussed in the following article.
4.5
band
Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and your opinion.
In recent times, sports competition are among equipped in the high school curriculum. There is a growing belief that competitive sports enage in providing a profound impact on the child's education, while others are not support this idea. I would argue that sports contests have pros and cons. This essay will examine the argument.
6
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
One school of thought holds that History plays a prominent role in the school curriculum, while others believe that natural science subjects and Technology are more likely crucial than the other. This essay attempts to shed light on perspective before concluding that I am in favour of the former notion.
7
band
Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that the idea of having a punishment for juvenile criminals the same as adults is reasonable. I disagree with the statement because young people's consciousness is not mature enough and can cause reoffends. I will elaborate on this in my essay below.
5
band
Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There have been arguments that people in scientific fields hold the largest impact on the world, whereas many believe that the political people's influence is much greater. In my opinion, although the advance in the fields of science brings about influential developments that could affect other's lives, it is those who work in politics who have the power to affect the way the world functions.

In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.