Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is observed that On the one hand, taking time would have many merits.
First
of all, having a
gap
year
lets students have various experiences. Through a
gap
year
journey, they can have direct or indirect experiences that they have never had, facing new and diverse cultures and people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are in various new
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
and different from people that they have faced.
For example
, they can not only experience the cultures of other nations but
also
be taught foreign languages.
Secondly
, a
gap
year
can be the preparation process for university.
For instance
, pupils can study
additionally
about the parts which are necessary to university process but they lack.
Moreover
, if pupils cannot decide
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
major yet, working in that area would be of help to decide it and earn money for tuition themselves.
On the other hand
, there are some demerits which cannot be ignored. In terms of study, be the discouragements. The longer period that students rest from studying
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, the more likely they are to forget the contents they learned and how to study. If students rest from studying due to a
gap
year
, they cannot understand the contents which are educated in university. The
second
drawback is that it can be a waste. When pupils do not spend efficiently time, that time becomes just a waste.
Moreover
, if
although
they go abroad, they cannot adapt there and come back, it could be a waste of money,
such
as airfare, starting up cost, and so on, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
invested can
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
.
Submitted by eomjimin0711 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: