IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
It is debatable whether the improvement of people’s lives is the most prominent purpose of
science
 or not. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the extent to which
this
 view is correct.
Firstly
, humanity inevitably faces various difficulties on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 daily and solutions are required to handle these situations.
Usage
Correct article usage
The usage
show examples
 of
science
 is by far the most convenient way of solving these problems;
moreover
, by carrying out scientific experiments, scientists come to conclusions which lead to accessing data capable of improving day-to-day
life
.
For instance
, air pollution has become a great issue nowadays and scientists have taken measures to address
this
 problem.
As a result
, engines capable of using sources of energy other than fossil fuels have been produced; having a significant effect on reducing the pollution of air and in turn the increase of the quality of
life
. Since the tranquillity of individuals is paramount, it is understandable that the ultimate goal of
science
 would have to be related to their lives;
however
, other factors are
also
 of high importance; most notably nature and its species. One particular problem that catches the attention is the extinction of different animal groups leading to the decrease of biodiversity.
This
 matter should not be dismissed as nature is a vast source of data for reaching higher levels of knowledge and
science
 should be used to handle
this
 problem. In conclusion, as important as the improvement of daily
life
 is, certain matters
such
 as the safety of other living beings should not be overlooked, for they have a noticeable effect on the quality of
life
.
Submitted by viana.elahi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity and precision
Strive to convey your ideas with a bit more precision. Even though the provided examples are good, you can enhance your argument by making your statements clearer and more direct.
sentence variety
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement. Using a variety of sentence types can make your essay more dynamic and interesting to the reader.
balanced argument
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing the importance of improving people's lives through science, while also highlighting the significance of protecting nature and biodiversity.
introduction/conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are well-defined and effectively encapsulate your main points, giving a good structure to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: