IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
The lifestyle of people is changing every moment and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 population is increasing gradually with the increase in demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 health and job.
This
 rush was much less when compared to the older generation.
Life
 was
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
peaceful
Correct quantifier usage
more peaceful
show examples
 years back from now.According to my opinion,we are having much better lifestyle than our grandparents as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain. Nowadays,due to more and more research and health facility,awareness
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 decreased
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
 of
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
.More and more scope of
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 as well as working options
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 for both men and women.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
 busy lifestyle is leading to
decreased
Add an article
the decreased
show examples
 social
life
 of a
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
 individual compared to the ones who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 born and lived
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
 decades before. Meanwhile,the older generation had a lot more fun and leisure time
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared to us.They had
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
 their personal and social
life
 in a better manner than the people of today.
Although
,medical and other technological facilities were very limited at that time.People were much happier
in
Change preposition
than
show examples
 the previous times.The 21st century has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surged with mental disorders due to
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 job load and lack of social
life
.
Therefore
,both current and previous centuries had their respective pros and cons.It is always wise to look forward along with the beneficiary part of
this
 time in which we are living.
Upgaradation
Correct your spelling
Upgradation
 is always necessary and it is a continuous process and it will be carried along with the coming years.But we must never forget
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where we came from.
Submitted by Ananya Saha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: