For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Early childhood education plays a key role in their future. Many people suppose that
teachers
have vast authority over
children
's development, while others argue that
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
parents
encouragement is more important. In
this
essay, I will explain the reasons why
teachers
are superior to
parents
.
First
and foremost, the majority of the time teenagers are spending at school or university. Having recurring classes has a crucial effect on teenagers' education as most of the time they observe
teachers
' behaviour and try to be like them. When I was young, I admired how my physical education teacher played football and I imitated him. Always better to have
parents
as idols, but due to time
lack
Add a comma
,lack
show examples
they can not always be near
children
and help them become a part of sociality. Another reason is that mature
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are usually qualified in a narrow area unless they are
teachers
. Individuals after 30 trying to concentrate only
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the specific sphere they had chosen and as humanity
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately,
show examples
do not use brain fully, we can forget awareness of the common subjects
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
mathematic, physic, chemistry and others. Many people climbed to the highest positions in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
lader
Correct your spelling
ladder
and can even start teaching, they might feel like a newbie in a basic school program. Teenagers will gain broader experience from many
teachers
rather than from a single well-qualified person who is a specialist only in a limited field. In conclusion, both
teachers
and
parents
have an effect not only on
children
's intelligence but
also
on their social development. While some things that
parents
have a significant influence on their
children
, I suppose the main difference is
Submitted by s.zinkevych on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: