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Band 4

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Many
children
 spend most of their daily
time
 attached to their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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.
This
 trend happened because of the lack of presence of parents which can lead to a negative development for
kids
. Nowadays, younglings and their mobile phone can be found anywhere.
This
 phenomenon is caused by the absence of parental guidance in their life. Most parents are busy dealing with their own life that they have to substitute their presence by giving their
children
 a smartphone. While the adults went out for their job no one is controlling the amount of
time
 their
kids
 put on their
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
.
For example
, there are a lot of cases that can be found in social
media
 where
kids
 spent a lot of
time
 being
an
Correct article usage
apply
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active
netizen
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netizens
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 following the trends. It can
also
 be seen by the rising number of
children
 on some social
media
 platforms
such
 as TikTok and Instagram.
This
 type of
behavior
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behaviour
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 can lead to a negative development because being addicted to a smartphone is basically harmful. In terms of
healthiness
Replace the word
health
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,
kids
 will lose most of their rest
time
 because they tried to stay awake and not miss out
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 trend on social
media
 or the progress that they have made in their online games.
As a result
, most of the younger generation have problems with their body at
such
 a young age. In terms of
moral
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morals
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 and etiquette, the lack of parental guidance is equal to the absence of content filtering which means that
children
 are exposed to any kinds of content that can lead to certain aggressive
interaction
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interactions
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 on both social
media
 and online games. It can harm their way of thinking and shape them into a person with a bad
personality
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personalities
show examples
.
For instance
, there is a rise
of
Change preposition
in
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 mental health issues that most of the cases are triggered by online bullying.
Children
 attaching themselves to their gadgets caused by the absence of their parents can lead them to certain kinds of danger
in
Change preposition
to
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 both health and
moral
Correct your spelling
morale
show examples
.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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