IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

A group of people believe that smoking in the public should be banned. Other groups of people argue that it should not. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#group #people #groups
There has been a controversy about whether smoking should be banned in public areas. I think it's necessary, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First
, it's detrimental to the surrounding people. As we know, when you see
smokers
 smoking cigarettes you will find they constantly exhale a large amount of
smoke
, which includes tar and carcinogens. On the one hand, these substances can give
smokers
 a feeling of satisfaction;
on the other hand
, they can contaminate the surrounding air. According to some statistical figures, there are around 250 toxic substances in secondhand
smoke
, and 69 are cancer-promoting.
Therefore
, should a smoker smokes in public areas; his surrounding will be affected unquestionably. Many scientists have pointed out that many diseases,
such
 as cardiac diseases and lung diseases, are directly linked to secondhand
smoke
. It has been reported that secondhand
smoke
 can increase the probability of lung cancer up to 30%.
Second
, it's easy to cause fires in the public. Take me as an example. I have read countless news about fires that are caused by some un-killed cigarette butts. A normal cigarette can burn for 10 mins normally;
hence
, if a cigarette is discarded casually,
then
 it's liable to cause fires in public areas.
Third
, smoking has a negative influence on under-aged people. It has been reported that the proportion of teen
smokers
 has grown dramatically. The reason is that when teens see people
smoke
 on the curb, they find it attractive and start acting like them. As a consequence, the number of junevile
smokers
 has increased rapidly. In conclusion, I believe banning smoking in the public is of the utmost importance.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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