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Band 5.5

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

#countries #weight #people #level #health #measures
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In some parts of the world, while
people
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 are gaining more weight, their physical
health
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 is exacerbating.
This
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 sensation can be comprised of two focal factors: what they eat, and how often they
exercise
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. Measures can be made, as long as governments and individual dedicatedly play their part.
People
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 struggle hard to achieve their goals in their careers and along with
this
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 they
also
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 strive hard to maintain good
health
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. Some
people
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 perceive that it is an efficient way to get promoted by working overtime, so in order to fit their hectic
work
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 schedule,
people
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 tend to opt for junk
food
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 rather than nutritious
food
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.
In addition
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, they do not have personal time to
exercise
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 to keep fit.
For example
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, it has been found by
a
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apply
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research that 70% of workers do not have private time to cook or
exercise
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. As it can be seen,
health
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problems
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 caused by unhealthy
food
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 and lack of
exercise
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 are prominent. Maintaining a
work
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-life
balance
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 and doing daily
exercise
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 are both critical to eradicating these
problems
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.
Exercise
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 plays a crucial role in keeping us fit and
people
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 need to realize that balancing
work
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 and life enables us to be more successful in the
work
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 domain. A good illustration of
this
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 is that
people
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 who can
balance
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 their
work
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 and life are capable of achieving their targets more easily and effortlessly. To recapitulate, it is essential for us to
exercise
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 every day and maintain a
work
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-life
balance
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. All in all,
such
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problems
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 relating to
health
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 are currently ubiquitous.
This
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 essay discussed how these
problems
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 are often caused by insufficient
exercise
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 and junk
food
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.
This
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 essay
also
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 suggested solutions to these
problems
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, including maintaining a
work
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-life
balance
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 and physical
exercise
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.
Submitted by nghia on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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