IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Smart phones are considered by many an essential gadget for all , including children ; however others disagree , highlighting the detrimental effects of mobile phones. In my opinion, a controlled usage not only can combat the deleterious side-effects but also be quite beneficial to children

#phones #gadget #children #effects #usage #combat #side-effects
A smartphone is a very necessary thing in everybody's life. Some communities believe that most pupils are considering mobile is one of their essential
gadgets
 to survive while some others argue with
this
 matter and
then
 they say that abate in the usage of the mobile
gadget
 will have more befits. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both scenarios and
then
 I will give my opinion on
this
 matter. On the one
side
,Nowadays, every person in
this
 world at any age group has a mobile
gadget
. Electronic
gadgets
 play a very crucial role in
this
 modern era. Communication is a very important thing in everybody's life. Due to advancements in
technology
,
Children
 are learning new things with these mobile
gadgets
.
For example
, During the Carona virus attack,
children
 were not allowed to send to school so the education system decided to provide education to the
children
 through electronic
gadgets
 like mobiles i.e. providing virtual classes to the
children
. In
this
 way, Mobile became an essential
gadget
 for everybody to use the current
technology
. On the other
side
, there is
also
 a negative impact of using mobiles for
children
. For every positive ,
side
 there is a negative
side
 in the world. More usage of mobiles leads to health problems like eye sites, headaches, etc.
For instance
,if a child uses a mobile
gadget
 without a kids mode on
then
this
 will lead the child to see some age-restricted videos. And
children
 will give importance to mobile by playing video games and neglect their studies.
This
 will spoil their education. To sum up, In
this
 modern era, Due to advanced,
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 there are some advantages overweigh the disadvantages of using mobile
gadgets
. I think it is better for
children
 to abate the usage of mobile for more time and they should use it in the best way to use the
technology
, develop their knowledge, etc
Submitted by madarapulavanya1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: