IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that real life skills like cooking, housekeeping and gardening should be included in the curriculum as compulsory subjects? Do you agree or disagree? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and details.

#people #life #skills #curriculum #subjects
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It is thought that real-life
skills
 need
attaching
Change the verb form
to be attached
show examples
 to
school
's
curriculum
 as compulsory subjects. I
pesonally
Correct your spelling
personally
 agree with
this
 opinion, because of tremendous benefits it can bring to
students
in particular
 and education system in general.
Students
 will have
opportunities
Correct quantifier usage
more opportunities
show examples
 to get exposure to essential
skills
 for daily life than they currently do at
school
. Hard
skills
, like maths and physics, are undisputedly vital when pupils decide to
pursuit
Replace the word
pursue
show examples
 a certain profession for their future careers. What is the point
however
 if, after getting the occupations, they do not even know how to cook or have financial freedom? Imagine a businessman working around the clock for the sake of gaining as much profit as possible and not knowing how to spend money sensibly. By learning and putting those
skills
 into practice,
students
 can get a grasp of what they have to do to take care of themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or discover what they are adept at. Educational programmes can
also
 be helped should the changes are applied. Some nowadays think the common
school
curriculum
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 far too rigid and too focused on certain subjects, lacking a sense of
guide
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guidance
show examples
 for
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 daily needs.
This
 can be resolved by turning those activities into compulsory subjects, which makes
students
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be more intrigued in learning them since cooking or gardening are pretty much
inidentical
Correct your spelling
identical
in identical
 to any of the current
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. It can lead to
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 high performance in
Correct your spelling
class
classes
classs
Correct your spelling
class
, and people will no longer have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 viewpoint of
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
school
Change noun form
school's
show examples
 present
curriculum
. All in all, the changes in
school
 activities are suggested and I concur they are needed.
With the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 introduction to the
curriculum
, it will definitely bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fresh air to both
students
 and schools. The
beneficial
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benefit
show examples
 is unquestionable.
Submitted by nghia on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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