IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it can have negative effects on the children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions?

#amount #children #people #effects
As
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
someone who has taught and supervised Ms Tejasvini Sansare closely during her
4 year
Add a hyphen
4-year
show examples
 undergraduate degree would like to endorse her application for pursuing
Masters
Change noun form
Masters's
Master's
show examples
 in Data Science at your esteemed university. All through her studies at PICT, she has remained a sincere, enthusiastic, disciplined, motivated and responsible student who was always ready for taking up new challenges. She has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to comprehend complex things
Correct your spelling
quickly
show examples
quicky
Correct your spelling
quickly
show examples
 and her active participation in classroom discussion demonstrates a keen interest and curiosity to gain
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
 knowledge. She has always managed to submit every
assignments
Change to a singular noun
assignment
show examples
 on time. Being taught her subjects like engineering mathematics, mechanic and statistics which requires
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good command
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 number-crunching, I must say she has
strong
Add an article
the strong
a strong
show examples
 quantitative ability. Apart from being consistent in academics, she has
also
 worked on several projects to implement the theoretical knowledge gained during the curriculum. She has honed her leadership qualities by getting involved in group activities like dance and improved her
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 skills by participating in various programming quiz competitions. Based on my observation of her abilities, I firmly believe she has the potential to be a phenomenal student at your university. If you require any
further
 assistance regarding
this
 recommendation, please reach out to me.
Submitted by sansare.tejasvi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Targeted advertising
  • Psychological development
  • Artificial needs
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Parental responsibility
  • Critical thinking
  • Informative content
  • Economic implications
  • Revenue generation
  • Content creation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: