IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many children nowadays are spending more and more time inside rather than outside. Is this a positive or negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your knowledge or experience.

#children #time #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some sociality argues that children may spend their time on indoor activities
instead
Linking Words
 of going out. From my point of view, It seems to be a negative impact on the youngster. One of the main reasons why juveniles might prefer to stay in their home rather than have an outdoor activity is due to technological gadgets. They tend to play video games, chat with their classmate online as well as watch favourite movies. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, it could impact their mental disorder ,especially concentration and might slightly have depression. In
this
Linking Words
 case, it will cause suicide and some toxic social impact on society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, one another supports ideas lacking in building relationships with sociality. Teenage who are using various times in the virtual world. It may have a problematic on contract with other people with no comprehension emotional.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the child has suffered in their lesson, it could be helped by sharing or talking with the parent or classmate to reduce pressure.While, if not, these can be caused by crimes committed because of anti-social behaviour. To sum up, I personally believe that having isolated activities could be harmful to offspring. It is predicted that to continue in
this
Linking Words
 activity, it will be faced various illnesses and psychological problems in the future.
Submitted by sirapat.sf1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: