Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that researching family
history
should be prioritized as it helps citizens gain various benefits, others believe we should focus on the present and future
generations. In this
essay, I will argue that putting the future
first is the most important factor.
Initially
, a significant benefit of researching family history
is the medical insights it provides about genetic diseases and health conditions. Family medical records can provide useful information for relatives to identify potential ailments and illnesses. Hence
, doctors can easily diagnose some inherited diseases based on individuals' symptoms, allowing them to select effective treatments, especially for fatal conditions. Additionally
, parents can encourage their children to participate in traditional sacred customs, which provoke curiosity about national identity and family history
and provide a sense of belonging. By engaging in these events, youngsters can understand the meaning and purpose of practices and the importance of cultural preservation. Family members have the chance to participate together in meaningful activities, strengthening their relationships and uniting them.
However
, in the context of the industrial revolution, there are many urgent present issues and future
challenges that need to be addressed. Automated manufacturing chains have increased production and performance, but have also
led to labor layoffs. Therefore
, future
generations face more pressure and must strive to keep pace with the fast-paced development of technology. Without accumulating expertise and improving specialized knowledge, individuals risk being affected by layoff waves. Moreover
, people should work together to solve environmental pollution. Raising social awareness about waste classification and disposal can deter contaminants from penetrating groundwater and fresh sources and reduce the formation of acid rain by minimizing pollutants discharged into natural habitats.
To conclude
, both sides offer essential benefits for future
generations. While
researching family history
provides medical information and cultural values, focusing on present challenges can ensure a stable future
and improve living conditions. Ultimately, I believe that prioritizing present and future
issues is the most important factor.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, and you have a clear introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to further expand on your points and examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph firmly ties back to your main argument. While you have good points, making explicit connections to your thesis throughout the essay will enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
To achieve a higher task response score, consider adding more specific and varied examples to back up your points. This will show your ability to think broadly and support your arguments comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines both views and states your own opinion. Good job!
task achievement
Your essay provides a well-rounded discussion of both perspectives, which is appreciated. This demonstrates balanced critical thinking.
task achievement
The medical insights and the impact of technological advancements were well-explained and relevant.