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Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

#obesity #disease #adults #children
It has been noticeable these days , that both adults and children suffer from
obisety
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obesity
 and the numbers are
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rapidly
rapidlly
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rapidly
 increasing. The upcoming paragraphs will illustrate the reasons behind
this
 phenomenon and suggest some effective solutions to tackle
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, it is well
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known
knon
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known
 that long working hours have totally changed the lifestyle of
people
 around the world. it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 pushed them to find alternatives to
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homemade
show examples
home made
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homemade
show examples
food
.
Therefore
, fast
food
 was the optimal option for them because fast
food
 outlets are found everywhere and the price is affordable for all income groups. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 the
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benefits
benifits
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benefits
 of
this
 solution were eclipsed by its drawbacks as
this
 kind of
food
 has led to
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overweight
overwieght
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overweight
 and other dangerous diseases.A good example to illustrate
this
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claim is
claims
claimis
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claim is
 that many recent studies have shown
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
 link between the consumption of fast
food
 and the
raise
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rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
obisety
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obesity
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 among different
age-groups
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age groups
show examples
. Another reason is that
people
 nowadays tend to spend their leisure time passively rather than actively.
in other words
, technology has changed the activities
people
 like to do , they would rather go to watch a 3D movie rather than
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to exercise with others. Kids
also
 prefer to play video games rather than playing a
socore
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soccer
score
 ball or
ride
Wrong verb form
riding
show examples
 their bikes with their friends. Because of
this
 sedentary
lifestyle
Add a comma
,lifestyle
show examples
 adults and kids started to gain
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weight
wieght
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weight
 as they consume calories without burning them. The ultimate and most effective solution could be by raising
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 awareness about their health. It could be by
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encouraging
ecouraging
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encouraging
 students to participate in extracurricular activities and offering programmes to raise their knowledge about healthy and balanced diets and
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 that governments ought to make fast
food
 companies offer
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 their 'classic' meals '
dite
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diet
' meals to give
people
 option to choose better and healthier
food
. To
recaptulate
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recapitulate
, The aforementioned points, clearly show the reasons behind the dramatical increase of
obisity
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obesity
 level among adults and young children and suggested some solutions to undertake to tackle the deteriorating level of
overwieght
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overweight
 issues. Meanwhile, these suggestions will not be
achieveable
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achievable
 if individuals did not respond and started to change their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
Submitted by 3.ALSHABI on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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