The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

#spread #areas #deforestation #species #groups #governments #animals

Urban migration in India is increasing with every passing year.

This

shift has led to deforestation and many

Correct your spelling

wildlife

wildfires

wildlifes

Correct your spelling

wildlife

have become threatened. Environmentalists are urging authorities to provide shelter to them as they keep our ecosystem in equilibrium. In

this

essay, we will discuss more the importance of faunas for safety and what

Correct article usage

the state

show examples

state

Fix the agreement mistake

states

show examples

can do to guard them. It is true that many people are moving from rural to urban areas, seeking a better lifestyle which has led to animal endangerment.

Animals

should be protected as they are a vital part of our ecosystem.

For instance

, domesticated

animals

such

as cows, sheep, and chickens provide us with food, fibre, and leather whereas wild

animals

help in maintaining the food chain and

hence

balance the ecosystem.

In addition

, environmental groups are urging the authority to safeguard the creatures as they are losing shelter due to deforestation.

Change the capitalization

Ministry

show examples

ministry

Correct article usage

The ministry

show examples

should introduce animal reserves nearby the cities for all the

animals

losing their shelter due to deforestation.

Also

, animal welfare teams should be introduced with the responsibility to protect

animals

from illegal hunting and trading. Laws against it should be passed with strict consequences for anyone found violating them. In conclusion,

animals

provide us with various resources while maintaining our ecosystems.

Therefore

, the government should implement animal welfare laws

such

as the introduction of animal reserves, prohibition of animal hunting, and trading.

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Biodiversity
Ecological balance
Ecosystem services
Genetic diversity
Tourism
Economic growth
Awareness
Education
Regulations
Conservation
Initiatives
Collaboration

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The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

If you have 1 hour of free time, do you choose to read or exercise?

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

It is important for travellers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly, what are the main advantages of doing so? what do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so?