IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Weather countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#weather #countries #refugees #assistance #food
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Generally, some regions are falling down every year for any reason that they can not be able to help their own citizens to grow. Strong societies must help those needy people with the basic things to live. I am going to discuss some noted points to
this
Linking Words
 statement. Developed countries should help other countries in every possible way
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they need. They should call the refugees to live with them in a normal way as they were living previously. As they can easily get food to be nourished and accommodation to stay in another country.
For example
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, as per the recent case of Afghanistan country, the USA and Canada are calling to the people with free cost to their country and continue their growth
instead
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 of suffering in a critical situation. They are taking almost 20% to 50% of residents to get a better life. On the other side, developed countries have their own residents, who are living with full rights and security . If they invited refugees and provided what they require
then
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 they must sacrifice each individual's value and their relation to happiness and many more things.
This
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 would not be the right way to get life to others.
For instance
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, the residence community feel some helplessness after entering new persons in town
likewise
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 in the opportunity term because they will
also
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 do jobs and do everything as others. In conclusion, strong land can call refugees but after making some new rules,
policies
Correct word choice
and policies
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 and
trust
Wrong verb form
trusting
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 in
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 who are living so they will always feel their privacy, own rules, and life as well. Because of that peace will maintain satisfaction among each other.
Submitted by ananiangagik on

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Task Response
The introduction should clearly state the writer's position on the topic and a clear thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and the supporting points are not well connected, leading to some confusion for the reader.
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