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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some individuals believe that the finest approach to decrease offense is to render lengthy jail term while others are of the view that there are better substitute route to reducing crime

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Introduction
Some individuals believe that the finest approach to decrease
offense
Fix the agreement mistake
offenses
show examples
 is to render lengthy jail
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 while others are of the view that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 better substitute
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
show examples
 to reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 in our universe today.
Body paragraph 1
In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both sides of the argument and give my opinion
Body paragraph 2
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the idea that the finest approach to decrease
offense
Fix the agreement mistake
offenses
show examples
 is to render
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 jail
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 can serve as a deterrent to others. Many culprits after spending soo
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 years in prison come back with a whole lot of regrets and are faced with societal discrimination. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have health complications which make them unfit for any job in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Many of them regret and have
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
 sense of repentance when they see their mates ahead of them.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 many agencies and some countries reject
people
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 records. Giving a short prison sentence to
offenders
Use synonyms
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them more rebellious in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the notion that there are better alternative ways of reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 can help the government to accumulate enough money for more developments in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 world. Fines can be collected from
offenders
Use synonyms
 than sentencing them, rehabilitation centres can
also
Linking Words
 help reform
people
Use synonyms
 by giving them education and skills to equip them for the future. Sometimes
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 is necessary for many petty
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 without jailing them.
For sweeping
Change preposition
Sweeping
show examples
 the streets, cleaning gutters and weeding public places can be used to punish
offenders
Use synonyms
. In recent years many authorities prefer using
offenders
Use synonyms
 for vocational works
such
Linking Words
 as Carpentry and shoe making.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while some
people
Use synonyms
 are of the view that the ideal way to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 is to give longer prison sentences, I am of the fullest conviction that there are better alternative ways of reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 in our world today.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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