IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for family and leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give the reason for your answer and include any relevant examples of your knowledge and experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #reason
Time
 plays a very crucial role in everybody's
life
.
Time
 is a very precious thing to everyone. Many pupils are working longer and longer
hours
 and spending less
time
 with their families. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both scenarios and
then
 I will give my opinion on
this
 matter along with some relevant examples. On the one side, some communities
work
 for longer
hours
 due to their working profession. For pupils who
work
in particular
 ,fields it is compulsory to
work
 more than their working
hours
.
For example
, a
person
 who works in the forensic department has to
work
 more
hours
 during the investigation process. They have to travel to the crime scene and collect the evidence. They should be available to the department at any
time
 during the investigation process. And another good example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is a
person
 who is working as a software employee and
also
 has an interest in the acting field. So
this
person
 tries to spend more
hours
 balancing
work
life
 and passionate
life
. In
this
 ,way people can fulfil their goals and
work
. On the other side, some communities
work
 for more
hours
 in the field in which they are not interested. These people will not have self-satisfaction in their
work
 and
also
 cannot spend their
time
 with their families.
This
 will lead to some health problems like stress, headache, etc. Spending
time
 with their children is
also
 a very important thing to a parent.
For example
, A
person
 who is working in a software company spends more
time
 on his/her
work
 due to less experience and he/she cannot spend
time
 with their family due hectic schedule and feeling stress in their
life
. To sum up, In my ,view the advantages and disadvantages of working longer
hours
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
show examples
 on an individual and how he handles the situation. Working for longer
hours
 has both advantages and disadvantages.
Submitted by madarapulavanya1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: