IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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When it comes to
educating
Replace the word
education
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, some people think everybody, regardless of gender, should have the same chance to educate in every
subject
Use synonyms
. But most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people think
this
Linking Words
 point of view isn’t realistic.
Firstly
Linking Words
, all over the
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 there are some jobs which, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 think, are for one gender.
For example
Linking Words
; a few
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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women
Use synonyms
 are willing to work in the mines, and seeing a man as a
Correct your spelling
babysitter
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baby-sitter
Correct your spelling
babysitter
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 or kindergarten teacher is
Correct your spelling
weird
wierd
Correct your spelling
weird
! So, some job opportunities are more suitable for just one gender. If the universities accept the same
number
Use synonyms
 of both genders in some subjects, there may be
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who didn’t have the chance to study the
subject
Use synonyms
 they want. The other problem is that, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries and cultures,
men
Use synonyms
 are the breadwinners and
women
Use synonyms
 are the ones who manage the house. Thereby, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 who need
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 and academic education is usually more than
women
Use synonyms
. Giving
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 the same opportunity
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
, deprives some
men
Use synonyms
 to have
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in future. In conclusion, I think giving both genders the same chance to study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
subject
Use synonyms
 in universities is not fair. There should be a true ratio in the
number
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 of
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 accepted in every
subject
Use synonyms
, based on the statistics about each gender’s desires.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
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