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Writing Samples
Band 5

The computers are widely used in education and some people think that teachers do not play an important role in the classroom. To what extent do you agree?

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These days the enhancements of technology
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
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 people to use
computers
Use synonyms
 to a great extent in the education sector. Some people opine that tutors lost their importance in the classes. The aim of
this
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 essay is to discuss what positives were brought by using
computers
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 in the educational field and the significance of tutors’ involvement in schools. I strongly disagree with the idea that teachers do not have a vital role in classrooms.
To begin
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 with,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of technologies during lessons eased the progress of teaching, as these techs may provide more interactive ways of training.
In other words
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, nowadays projectors and special gadgets are being used for biology and anatomy lessons and in
this
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 way pupils have more chances to visualize and better understand the topic.
Moreover
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, laptops are more convenient
to prepare
Change preposition
for preparing
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 assignments and
carry
Wrong verb form
carrying
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 books in e-version.
On the other hand
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,
while
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 teaching students life experiences is one of the key points to have,
however
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,
computers
Use synonyms
 are only based on information from the internet.
That is
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 to say, teachers will continue to be an important part of education, as they can express feelings and sometimes pupils need physical or emotional support during their studies.
Moreover
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, a teacher knows what things students are capable of and depending on their skills the tutor may lead his undergraduates to the right path in life.
To conclude
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, though techs like
computers
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 may give chances to have lessons in
much
Correct article usage
a much
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entertaining
Correct quantifier usage
more entertaining
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 way and they are known to create a more comfortable life in schools, I believe that the role of a teacher can never be replaced owing to the reasons given above.

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Introduction
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion on the role of technology and teachers in education. However, it could be improved by clearly stating your opinion on the topic and outlining the structure of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure, but it could benefit from a more detailed and organized development of ideas. Some of your points lack clarity and coherence, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Self-paced learning
  • Personalized education
  • Student-centered learning
  • Interactive tools
  • Blended learning
  • Facilitator
  • Critical thinking
  • Soft skills
  • Empathy
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Mentorship
  • Teacher-student relationship
  • Practical experience
  • Real-world insights
  • Standardization of education
  • Individual student needs
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