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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballers #time #people
Nowadays, the
events
 of
celebrities
 become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous and the tag that
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
 every
ages
Change to a singular noun
age
show examples
 of
people
. Someone
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 the trend of the
media
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 much attention to the
life
 of
celebrities
 is good.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
people
 suggest the
media
 should spend more time
to report
Change the verb form
reporting
show examples
 the lives of ordinary
people
. Personally, I think the
events
 of ordinary
people
 are more important than
celebrities
’
events
. In recent years, there are more
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 appearing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society which
catch
Change the verb form
catches
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 attraction. It is certainly true that young
people
 will
be influence
Change the verb form
be influenced
show examples
 by those bad
events
 which come from
celebrities
.
For example
,
people
 get
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
 on the internet or other
media
.They must get some information about actors, singers or footballs.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
event which is not good will give young
people
 negative energy. And young
people
 maybe will learn what famous
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 do. The example
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
 a very clear example that will happen. The main argument I
also
Add a missing verb
am also
show examples
 against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is that reporting the
life
 of ordinary
people
that is
the
Correct pronoun usage
what the
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 need. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 argument is
people
 should live in the world of their daily
life
 but not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
copy what
life
like
Add a missing verb
is like
show examples
 to live. It just
Means
Fix capitalization
means
show examples
people
 should know
moe
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
 daily news in the society
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 they live.
For instance
,
people
 should remember how to be
an excellent residents
Correct the article-noun agreement
an excellent resident
excellent residents
show examples
 in the country and observe what happened around them. Those are what
people
 do not interest in and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. But it is
necessities
Fix the agreement mistake
necessity
show examples
.
Consequently
, I support the
media
 should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more time on the lives of
normal
Add an article
a normal
the normal
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. All in all, it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best choice to pay more attention to the lives and relationships of stars in
very pat
Correct your spelling
every part
show examples
 f the world.The information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 them is more and more
appear
Replace the word
apparent
show examples
. What I believe is that
people
 live for their own but not for the
celebrities
 so that need to get the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 what will happen in society and daily.
Submitted by chenyuling430 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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