many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?

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Undoubtedly,
diabetic
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diabetes
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and obesity are increasing day after day,
junk
Correct word choice
and junk
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food and drinks that have
high
Add an article
a high
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level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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of
sugar
Use synonyms
are playing
major
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a major
show examples
role in
this
Linking Words
issue. I radically agree to increase
fee
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fees
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and support ourselves. In
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
essay
essat
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essay
, I will explain my viewpoint and
led
Wrong verb form
lead
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my opinion. Recently,
sugar
Use synonyms
has
called
Add a missing verb
been called
show examples
the drug of our modern, because
its
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it's
it is
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easy and delicious to use and
in
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at
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the same time it
cause
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causes
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a lot of risks
of
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to
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our health. Particularly, increasing
of
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apply
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weight
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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led to hypertension and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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sugar
Use synonyms
proportion in
blood
Correct article usage
the blood
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. During teen years ago, diabetes
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spread widely among young and the world health organisation has warned against the danger of
this
Linking Words
increasing
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increase
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
larest
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largest
last
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researchers
researches
resarches
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researchers
said, almost
Linking Words
third
Correct article usage
a third
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of the World's population is at risk of diabetes and
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hypertension
hypertention
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hypertension
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
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governments
must play
crucial
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a crucial
show examples
role in
this
Linking Words
issue,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should oblige
lows
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
and restrictions to support our communities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it should observe and increase
Add an article
the fee
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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for some products that have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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of
sugar
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as chocolates and soft drinks.
This
Linking Words
step maybe
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefit
to decrease
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
risk
Change preposition
of risk
show examples
, so, when
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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