Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior? What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #influence #behavior

Telecasting of violent films and video

games

. could

this

cause certain damages that could be detrimental to health and community? Meanwhile, some people think that violent

movies

and computer

games

have affected the community in a negative way ,why some do not accept

this

, I totally agree with

this

aforementioned statement.

Firstly

, the invention of modern devices and displaying of abusive

movies

on the TV screen has some negative effects.

this

has made a lot of younger ones engage in crimes

such

as stealing, murder and kidnapping to mention but a few.

Furthermore

, youngsters learn smartly with what they view from either a live stream or Hollywood

movies

. For ,example a child that gets glued to china

movies

such

as action

movies

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could learn more from

Remove the article

apply

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

such

movies

and assimilate

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

into the brain. Again, people will go into crimes because they were able to see how defence mechanisms can be done through watching different series of action

movies

this

leads to an

increase

Replace the word

increased

show examples

crime rate in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Most folks practice what they learnt from their video

games

indoor

Correct your spelling

indoors

show examples

and sometimes may execute it on their friends.

In addition

, lack of serious learning will be significant among the young ones in school or college.

Secondly

, there would be insecurity problems in the nation because a lot of fun attitudes will be displayed

such

as kidnapping and murder. Notwithstanding, there are other good streams found in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television that could help broaden one's knowledge and strengthen their horizons in life. Again , quite a number of people display

movies

which could be detrimental to health. Celebrity lifestyles known as social media influencers can influence folks at a higher rate thereby leading groups into stealing just to fit into. To sum up, I believe that some abusive

movies

and computer

games

have caused more harm than good in respect to folks learning illegal skills

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

increasing the crime rate in society.

Submitted by adaobihedioha12 on Sun Aug 21 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You recently organised an all day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter Say what the participant liked about the hotel. Explain why they were unhappy about the hotel. Suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future.
I'm writing to you regarding the all-day corporate event that was hosted in your hotel last weekend. I was responsible for organizing it and collecting feedback afterwards and would like to share my findings.
4
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Today high levels of sugar are contained in many sources of food, especially in manufactured food, and of course, eating so much is not good for our health; it can cause just a simple cavy, for example, but also worse problems, like the increasing level of sugar in blood. Some people suggest that sugary products should be more expensive, so people would buy less them.
5
band
Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society.
Many people think that an employee should stay in the same job for a long time as this benefits individuals, corporations, and societ. Although there are tangible benefits to this suggestion, I strongly believe that job hopping holds a greater value for workers.
4.5
band
As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the globalisation era, technology have widely been used to finding crucial informations which resulted in lesser importance of fact teaching and should be replaced by skills and talent developing. I align with the opinion as i believe that schools should replace the burdening fact teaching with skills enhancing curriculum.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate as to whether children start their formal education at a very young age or after 7 years old. While proponents of the early-age starter argue that children may achieve early success in careers the opposites claim that children should be well-developed physically before starting education. Although both sides make very valid points, I would argue that starting education at a very early age is better for most children.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior? What is your opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society.

As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.