Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world

Nowadays, a sedentary

lifestyle

has increased drastically

due to

less physical activity because of technological advancement.

This

essay will discuss the main problems that

occurred

Wrong verb form

occur

show examples

due to

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

including

obesity

, diabetes, high blood pressure, spinal diseases etc.

This

essay will

also

suggest two main solutions including regular exercise and playing

sports

. Because of

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

physical activity has reduced.

Hence

obesity

and various diseases,

for example

, diabetes, high blood pressure, spinal diseases etc. increased globally. The availability of advanced equipment in all fields has reduced human interaction and physical work in

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

which led to

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

concerns.

Moreover

, mental illnesses like depression and

anxieties

Change the noun form

anxiety

show examples

cases came

Change preposition

into

show examples

picture

Add an article

the picture

a picture

show examples

as a byproduct of

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

. A recent study shows that in

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

decade cases of

obesity

blood

Correct word choice

high blood

show examples

pressure, diabetes, spinal disease,

mental

Correct word choice

and mental

show examples

illness

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

increased by

multiples

Fix the agreement mistake

multiple

show examples

, Regular exercise at least four days a week for one hour can be useful to maintain fitness and avoid

health

issues. Another solution to avoid

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

is to play

sports

regularly. There are several

sports

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, swimming, running, jogging, table tennis, and badminton, which can

Correct your spelling

considered to improve physical

health

For instance

, in Shillong

Change preposition

apply

show examples

South Korea, the government has constructed open gyms in parks and

as a result

, people have started exercising and improving their

health

Inconclusion

Correct your spelling

In conclusion

show examples

this

essay discussed problems

occurred

Correct pronoun usage

that occurred

show examples

due to

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

and suggested

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to overcome

obesity

and

health

issues including regular exercising and playing some

sports

Submitted by rafikshama on Sun Aug 21 2022

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task response

The essay partially addresses the task by discussing problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle and providing some solutions. However, it lacks a clear, comprehensive development of ideas and relevant specific examples to support the points. The introduction and conclusion are evident but need improvement in addressing the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The essay exhibits some logical structure and coherence in terms of organizing ideas. However, it lacks a clear progression of ideas and cohesive devices to link the paragraphs. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, which affects the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
health problems
weight gain
obesity
energy levels
chronic illnesses
mental health
productivity
focus
social isolation
exercise
physical fitness
active lifestyle
health benefits
physical health
mental well-being
leisure activities
regular physical activity
physical exercise
cardiovascular health
strength training
flexibility
endurance

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Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently stayed at a hotel conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include • Where you stayed • What the problems were • How they can fix your complaint.

Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. Do you agree or disagree?

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuating us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?