Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world

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Nowadays, a sedentary

lifestyle

Use synonyms

has increased drastically

due to

Linking Words

less physical activity because of technological advancement.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the main problems that

occurred

Wrong verb form

occur

show examples

due to

Linking Words

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

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lifestyle

Use synonyms

including

obesity

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, diabetes, high blood pressure, spinal diseases etc.

This

Linking Words

essay will

also

Linking Words

suggest two main solutions including regular exercise and playing

sports

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. Because of

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

physical activity has reduced.

Hence

Linking Words

obesity

Use synonyms

and various diseases,

for example

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, diabetes, high blood pressure, spinal diseases etc. increased globally. The availability of advanced equipment in all fields has reduced human interaction and physical work in

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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which led to

above mentioned

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above-mentioned

show examples

Use synonyms

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

concerns.

Moreover

Linking Words

, mental illnesses like depression and

anxieties

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anxiety

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cases came

Change preposition

into

show examples

picture

Add an article

the picture

a picture

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as a byproduct of

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

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. A recent study shows that in

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

decade cases of

obesity

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blood

Correct word choice

high blood

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pressure, diabetes, spinal disease,

mental

Correct word choice

and mental

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illness

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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increased by

multiples

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multiple

show examples

, Regular exercise at least four days a week for one hour can be useful to maintain fitness and avoid

health

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issues. Another solution to avoid

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health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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is to play

sports

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regularly. There are several

sports

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Linking Words

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, swimming, running, jogging, table tennis, and badminton, which can

Correct your spelling

considered to improve physical

health

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For instance

Linking Words

, in Shillong

Change preposition

apply

show examples

South Korea, the government has constructed open gyms in parks and

as a result

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, people have started exercising and improving their

health

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Inconclusion

Correct your spelling

In conclusion

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this

Linking Words

essay discussed problems

occurred

Correct pronoun usage

that occurred

show examples

due to

Linking Words

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

and suggested

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to overcome

obesity

Use synonyms

and

health

Use synonyms

issues including regular exercising and playing some

sports

Use synonyms

Submitted by rafikshama on Sun Aug 21 2022

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task response

The essay partially addresses the task by discussing problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle and providing some solutions. However, it lacks a clear, comprehensive development of ideas and relevant specific examples to support the points. The introduction and conclusion are evident but need improvement in addressing the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The essay exhibits some logical structure and coherence in terms of organizing ideas. However, it lacks a clear progression of ideas and cohesive devices to link the paragraphs. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, which affects the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
health problems
weight gain
obesity
energy levels
chronic illnesses
mental health
productivity
focus
social isolation
exercise
physical fitness
active lifestyle
health benefits
physical health
mental well-being
leisure activities
regular physical activity
physical exercise
cardiovascular health
strength training
flexibility
endurance

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Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of population who are aged at 15 or younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contract between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.